In this interview, Simone Davies from The Montessori Notebook and Junnifa Uzodike from Montessori Nduoma discuss their new book “The Montessori Child” releasing on March 5, a comprehensive guide tailored for parents and educators eager to apply Montessori principles to the upbringing of children aged 3-12. Drawing on the strong demand from families, the authors reveal the journey behind creating this essential resource, starting even before their preceding title, “The Montessori Baby,” hit the shelves.
Offering invaluable insights for Montessori beginners and seasoned practitioners alike, the book serves as an indispensable reference, packed with real-world stories from diverse families, practical advice for navigating developmental transitions, and strategies for fostering social and moral growth. With their collaborative expertise, Davies and Uzodike meticulously address the unique needs of both the 3-6 and 6-12 age groups, sharing personal experiences and professional wisdom that underscore the adaptability and relevance of Montessori education today.
This interview sheds light on the authors’ synergistic writing process, their personal connection to the Montessori community, and their commitment to making Montessori education accessible to families worldwide.
Question: Was there a particular moment or realization that sparked the idea for this third book, or was it something you had planned? Your book, “The Montessori Baby,” was published in May 2021. Did you start working on this one immediately after that?
Answer: So many families requested this book! They love using Montessori at home with their babies and toddlers and wanted to have a guidebook for the following ages too. The first document for this book was started in January 2021, so even before The Montessori Baby was released and it’s been a few years in the making. We are so excited with how it turned out and that the book is finally being released into the world.
Question: For those new to the Montessori philosophy, can “The Montessori Child” serve as an introduction? For families with older children, how does the book advise on transitioning to a Montessori approach? Is it ever too late to start?
Answer: We love to say that it’s never to early to start with Montessori and, equally, it’s never too late to start. For those that are new to Montessori (and even for families who have been applying Montessori for a long time), The Montessori Child gives you an easy to read guidebook to refer to as your children grow.
There are chapters on understanding the Montessori principles, setting up the home as our children grow, activities that provide meaningful work to our children, understanding their social and moral development and how we can be their guide (not their boss or servant).
You can read the book from cover to cover, open the book to any page for inspiration, or look up a topic in the index to use it as a reference book to come back to at any time.
One place to start as you transition to a Montessori approach is to slow down. When we slow down we have more time to observe; we can respond rather than react; we can adjust our home when we see an obstacle to our child’s development; it gives time for our children to explore, learn to do things for themselves and make discoveries for themselves; it allows time for connection and being a family together; and it allows time for conversation – to listen and understand each other better.
Question: Why have you decided to combine the age groups 3-6 and 6-12 in a single book, instead of creating two separate ones?
Answer: This was interestingly something that our publisher suggested we do. Whilst in Montessori the 3-6 and 6-12 are treated separately, it actually worked out great to combine them. Families often have children who span different age groups so they can find all the information in one place. We also discuss each aspect of development as it progresses through the age groups so you can read not only what your child is going through right now, but what is coming next. And it also means that you have all the information for the childhood years in just one book.
Question: Could you offer some advice or tips on supporting a child’s transition through year 6, between the planes of development?
Answer: We often have families ask us about this transition between the planes of development as it doesn’t happen on one day as a child turns 6 years old. Instead it is a gradual change, where sometimes you feel like you have a second plane child, and other days they are back in the first plane.
We guide families to understand the differences in the planes of development so we can observe when we see a characteristic from the first plane or that of the second plane. So we are learning again to observe and look for changes that take place.
For example, the first plane child has an absorbent mind and is picking up things with their unconscious absorbent mind (from 0-3 years) and their conscious absorbent mind (3-6 years). When our child begins to transition to the second plane, they will start to be using their rational and reasoning mind. They want to understand right from wrong, good and bad. So we are always adjusting how we respond, depending on whether they are happy to accept as we say, or if they are beginning to question “why” and “how” we do what we do.
Question: You have also included a chapter about the adolescent years. Why did you find it important to include information about this age group in this book as well?
Answer: Well we knew families would otherwise ask us for a book about the adolescent years 😅. So we wanted to address their questions in this book and to prepare them so that they know what is coming next. The Montessori approach towards adolescence is so gentle and supportive, as well as helping them to become young adults. It was a fun chapter to write.
Question: We all aim to make Montessori education accessible and relevant to families from various backgrounds. You have included “Real Stories” sections at the end of some chapters. Could you please tell us more about this choice?
Answer: This is always such a fun part of the book to work on. It’s important to us to feature other families applying the Montessori approach. Montessori should indeed be culturally responsive – so it looks different depending on where you live, your culture, your background etc. We are delighted to feature an Indigenous family, a family with an Autistic child, families with different religions, a family with a wheelchair, and families from all over the world. It is beautiful to be able to include these families from our Montessori community.
Question: Assessing social and moral development can be complex. What led you to dedicate a separate chapter to this topic?
Answer: Often people think of independence when they think of Montessori. Yet social and moral development are such important aspects for children from 3 years and above and one that is not spoken about so much in Montessori circles. So we wanted to highlight this area with its own chapter. It also covers how to foster grace and courtesy for children 3 to 12 years, how to handle common moral and behavioural challenges, how our children can become social citizens, and how we can build our family culture.
Question: Children can often surprise adults with insightful or challenging questions. Does the book offer advice on how to handle difficult questions from children about sensitive topics?
Answer: When children ask us difficult questions, in Montessori we always try to give an honest and age-appropriate answer. We don’t lie to them or brush away their questions because we want them never to stop asking questions. We may look up the answer and research together. And if it’s not a good time, we make a plan with them to come back to answer their question.
Question: Montessori education focuses as much on the adult’s development as on the child’s. How does the book support parents in their journey of growth and learning alongside their child?
Answer: The preparation of the adult is such an important part of the Montessori approach so we have dedicated a chapter to this topic. This chapter explores how we view the child (understanding, trusting and guiding them); how we fill up our own cup and cultivate calm, how we find community, and take care of ourselves; and how we grow (including healing ourselves so we can respond to our children instead of reacting from our own past experiences).
Question: What advice do you have for parents or caregivers to communicate more effectively with each other, in an effort to support and scaffold the child’s emotional environment/experience on a day-to-day basis?
Answer: Regular parenting meetings with our partner or any other caregivers is the best way to work as a team in raising our children. We can make a note of things we’d like to discuss with them and, if needed, provide or seek out additional information to educate others as needed. We see ourselves and the others caring for our children growing alongside our children. We treat each other with respect (just as we do with our children) and we are always looking for a way that everyone’s needs can be met. We can practice Montessori not only with our children but with everyone in our lives.
Question: What tips can you offer for maintaining (or repairing) the respect and bond between child and adult when either the child (or adult) becomes dysregulated?
Answer: We all get dysregulated from time to time. The process of repair is so important. If our child is dysregulated, we can help them to first calm down. This may be through co-regulation with us or they may want to be alone, nearby, or want us to physically hold them. Once they are calm, we can help them to make a repair (replace items that have been thrown, fix any broken items, offer an apology, check if someone has been hurt etc).
If we get dysregulated, then once we are calm we can also make a repair. Some children will like to hear an apology, others a promise that it won’t happen again, and others want us to make amends in another way. We can say, “What I should have said was __________.” Or “What I should have done was _____________.” We model taking responsibility for our part.
Question: Can you share insights into how you divided the work on the book? Were there specific sections or themes that each of you felt more drawn to write about?
Answer: We like to say it’s a symbiotic relationship writing together – we could not have written this book alone. We wrote half the book each and then edited and gave feedback on each other’s chapters.
Being in an elementary class and having 3 of her 4 children between 3 – 12 while writing this book, Junnifa was in a perfect place to discuss the children’s social and moral development. She also loves the preparation of the environment so worked on this chapter too. Simone did her 12-18 adolescent training and has had two children already pass through the teenage years, so she enjoyed this topic and sharing the Montessori approach to adolescence. She also did a deep dive into many topics to work on Chapter 7 Putting it into practice which was very interesting to research, speak to other Montessori educators about, and develop answers to all the questions we know families have.
Question: Are there any particularly memorable stories involving your own children that made it into this new book?
Answer: Junnifa shares about her children when discussing how children need time to observe. Junnifa remembers her children stopping during walks to watch ants carrying food, watching a stock person stack boxes at the grocery store, or watching a plumber fix a leak in their house. This observation is part of their self-construction, so it’s okay to slow down for them to observe and not interrupt them.
A story Simone shares in the book about problem solving with teenagers. When 14-year-old Emma wanted to go to a concert alone with a school friend, Simone said something like, “You want to go to that concert, and it’s my job to keep you safe. How can we find a way that you can go to the concert and I know that we’ve done as much as we can to keep you safe?” The agreement they came up with was that the girls would eat pizza at Simone’s house before the concert (so Simone could meet Emma’s friend), that Simone would cycle with them to the venue and make sure they got in okay, that they understood the risks inside the venue with alcohol and drugs, and that Simone would cycle to meet them after the concert, she wasn’t the only adult there, and the girls were able to attend the concert.
Question: How has this long-term successful collaboration influenced your friendship?
Answer: We respect each other so much and have learned so much from each other. We sometimes call each other “our book wife” as it takes a lot of zoom calls, whatsapp messages, and time chatting late at night to make it happen. But it has only been a joy to be able to work on these books together and share the wisdom of Montessori with more families.
Question: What was the most surprising thing you learned about each other during the writing process?
Answer: The most surprising thing is how often our ideas come together to make a perfect collaboration. For example, the subtitle of the book came about in a beautiful way. As Simone was cooking breakfast one day, she had an idea and so wrote a quick message to Junnifa so she didn’t forget it. She had suggested, “A parent’s guide to raising children with creative minds and compassionate hearts.” Junnifa loved it and added one more “c” for the capable child. The final subtitle is “A parent’s guide to raising capable children with creative minds and compassionate hearts.” And it’s exactly what we hope to achieve with this book.
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